


I Hate Christy So Much

by Telcontarian



Series: The Truth or Dare Chronicles [1]
Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: A Shitshow of Epic Proportions, All The Chickens, Crack, F/M, Foul Mouthed Fairy, Midlife Crisis, Utter Shitstorm, What Have I Done, fuck my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25379287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telcontarian/pseuds/Telcontarian
Summary: Never choose dare when playing a massive, global game of Truth or Dare over on LFFL.Dedicated to LadyKyridwen: a Lannister always pays her debts.
Relationships: Jareth/Ludo
Series: The Truth or Dare Chronicles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974274
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	I Hate Christy So Much

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyKyridwen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKyridwen/gifts).



> Never choose dare when playing a massive, global game of Truth or Dare over on LFFL.
> 
> Dedicated to [LadyKyridwen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKyridwen): a Lannister always pays her debts.
> 
> A massive thank you to the amazing [BustedBrain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BustedBrain) for letting me borrow Mavvy for a while. Her foul-mouth is literally the only thing that got me through this utter shitstorm.
> 
> Without further ado: FUCK MY LIFE.

His mismatched eyes gleaming behind his mask, Jareth stepped into the crystal ballroom, confident that victory was in his grasp. The sparkle of a thousand chandeliers bathed the monarch in their ethereal glow, the soft candlelight accentuating the sharp angles of his cheekbones and he paused, savouring the tense silence before he played his hand and finally claimed his Queen.

Hogwart had been right: the use of the magical glow of the Labyrinthian fairies, destined to plague the gatekeeper’s every waking moment, to offset the flickering candlelight added just the right amount of ambience necessary to create the perfect romantic atmosphere in which to woo his wayward Queen. It really was a shame about the foul-mouthed little fairy by the name of Mavvy who buzzed furiously near the central candelabra, busily writing “Hoggle is a cunt” over and over again in midair.

Tearing his eyes away from the irate little fairy who was currently making a series of rude hand gestures in Jareth’s general direction, a devious smirk tugged at the corner of the Goblin King’s mouth as he cast his gaze around the elaborate ballroom, delighted in the debauchery and just the right amount of adult type touching that appeared to be taking place in every nook and cranny of the enchanted ballroom. For the first time in his existence, he was so glad that he had listened to Hopscotch’s suggestion of turning the Castle chickens into members of his court for the night – they appeared to be having a splendid time.

A preternatural hush fell over the room’s occupants and it was then that Jareth knew that Hogwash had successfully delivered the enchanted peach and she was now here in the dreamscape of his making, the Girl Who Would Be Queen, ready for one final contest of wills as she pitted herself against the Goblin King once more. Moving amongst the dancers, he was able to catch a glimpse of the extravagant, silver ballgown that he had chosen especially for his young bride as he began to stalk his errant prey. He was so close to victory that he could taste it; his eyes half-lidded in desire as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip to moisten his dry mouth, his glove-clad fingers clenching at his sides. He longed now to trace the soft curves of his beloved with his bare hands, longed to taste and bite at her peach-ripened skin as she writhed underneath him on their wedding night, lost in the throes of the passion of their making.

  
Aroused beyond all belief by the ghostly ringing of her soft moans and pleading gasps forever ingrained into his memory and in imminent danger of having his crown jewels strangled by his skin-tight breeches, Jareth waved an impatient hand and his court parted, allowing the impatient groom to stride forward to receive his bride. The Goblin King bowed before his Queen, his eyes drinking in the sugar-spun ruffles of her starlit dress before slowly drifting upwards and lingering on her ample, hairy décolletage as he placed a yearning kiss against the soft fur that graced her large paw.

“Ludo,” he purred and his Queen responded with a sweet, although vacant, grin as he stroked the luscious, downy hair of her chest. The top of Jareth’s head barely brushed her chin as he settled his hand on Ludo’s waist and drew her closer, “Dance with me, Precious.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are welcome; vodka is better.


End file.
